MARILYN

GIRL OF

THE MONTH

I was 28 years old before I was given a name-that is, a girl's name-and then it was I who made the selection and "gave" the name. I had always loved the name "Marilyn"-and not simply because of the beautiful movie star who carries the last name of Monroe--but more so because it to me signified true feminin- ity.

Marilyn was "conceived" when her male side was perhaps 3 to 5 years old. She was "born" when the "tomboy" in her was approximately 23 years of age. "Born", I say, because it was at this age that I started to really live transvestism and enjoy it. I had discarded my efforts of years to eliminate the prob- lem. I had finally come to the conclusion that I must learn to live with it-not fight it. More of this later.

I'm not sure why I picked the age of 3 to 5 years as the start of it all. One really wonders whether I may have been born with it-or perhaps at least had the nature or make up to allow it to develop. I do recall very early thoughts of envy at about this age. And I do recall in this early period walking into the bedroom of a young boy friend's mother, while she was only partly attired, and being scolded for this. There was no- thing particularly outstanding as to her apparel so perhaps it is of no significance. However the fact that it sticks out in my mind leads me to believe it has.

I was raised in a family in which I was the only boy among several sisters. I was treated well and given every opportunity as a boy. There were no incidents of petticoat punishment or crossdressing as is so often the case. Maybe I was treated too well; perhaps it was the general feminine influence about me; or possibly it was a combination of these and countless other "un- known" factors. For these answers I am still looking.

There were no significent incidents of crossdressing during my grade and high school years. I felt great envy though, as I observed the young grade school and teen age girls in their fem-

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